my taffy: ayaw na hilak chins: ok chins: i'm sorry chins: i cant stop crying kay its my fault..always has..always wil..im sorry my taffy: all i ask bya jud is to try to show me that u still want me my taffy: i knw temptations naa jud my taffy: but i thought mn gud na di na ma happen nmu because love ko nmu kaayu na di ka nahan ma sakitan ko my taffy: but i was wrong my taffy: so very wrong chins: i do..its u i want my love my taffy: and it hurts ky ikaw pa jud of all people na i tot di na ma buhat nko chins: im sorry..its my fault..nagpadala ko sa temptations..and im sorry..im really sorry..but i love u..i still love u and i will love u no matter what coz u ddnt do anything wrong..i dont want my freedom..i dont want it if it means losing u..no taffy..i told u di nako kaya..tinuod to..and its still true..
my taffy: lami mn gud kaayu si carl my taffy: dba? chins: taffy please.. my taffy: sorry if di ko pareha niya my taffy: shrek ra lagi ko chins: no i dont want u 2 b like him..never my taffy: prince charming siya chins: no dats not tru chins: ikaw bya akong prince..way lain..no matter what..pls taffy believe me..i know lisud 4 u 2 do that pero its u..its always been u my taffy: i hope u see me now chins: i do my taffy: i never asked anything from u but love me back and to take care of my heart bcoz i have always done ako ma kaya not to hurt u chins: im sorry chins: even if mag balik2x ko sulti nimo..im sorry..kibaw ko nga wat i did was wrong..very very wrong and stupid and reckless..and di xa ing ana ka sayon ma limtan..but please taffy..believe me when i say i love u..i really do chins: and it kills me sad to see u hurting bcoz of me..coz i broke my promise my taffy: thats the funny thin because i do still believe and i knw my taffy: *thing my taffy: nag sakit pa ko my lov chins: no its not funny coz i love u..i do chins: im sorry my taffy: i love you chins: i love u
my taffy: so unsa solution ani my taffy: i am asking u chins: taffy im not good at this..i can only think of deleting..which i did..and the numbers which i didnt yet coz u said u wanted to see it in person..and i know breaking up is not the answer chins: im thinking of what i would do to save this my taffy: u knw di jud ko nahan ana but sakit my taffy: i knw naa ra ko im sorry ni adto ko gniha na sakitan lng ko chins: i know i hurt u..a lot..and im sorry for that..but im also hurting for seeing u like that chins: and its bcoz of me my taffy: im sorry chins: and di nako kaya to see u like that my taffy: again chins: im sorry my taffy: lets work this out chins: no taffy..u have nothing to be sorry about my taffy: lets pick up the pieces chins: its all my fault my taffy: together my taffy: enough na ana my taffy: yaw na blame imu self chins: what u did was out of anger & rage..so no need to say im sorry chins: kay ako dapat mag sorry chins: for what i did..for the pain i caused u..for the tears u cried chins: im sorry my taffy: u knw i'll forgive u my taffy: thats how u mean to me chins: im sorry my taffy: and u knw i cant stand seeing u cry chins: i really am chins: and i love u my taffy: i love u chins: i love u my taffy: pls dont ever doubt that. suko mn ko but u knw i can never lie that i dont love you because u knw its you my blowfishkiss my laffy my love chins: it makes me cry so much that u can still love me that much inspite of what i did 2 u.. chins: im sorry my taffy: because i just knw that i want to be the one you die with i love you no matter what chins: taffy its u i want..u're all i want..no one else my taffy: no reclaim...i am not perfect my love bya chins: i dont wat u 2 b perfect..i just want u 2 b my taffy.. chins: and i want to be ur laffy once more chins: :( my taffy: no one is ever gonig to take ur place as laffy put that in your head chins: thank u chins: im sorry my taffy: anything for you chins: i love u my taffy: love you
my taffy: but heres the thing how can i stop thinking na naa na mn num si carl nmu my taffy: and i knw naa pa jud na sa iya huna2x mu tx nmu chins: im sorry i did that..wa jud ko kibaw unsay na sud sa akong utok ato..im sorry..di ko mu reply i promise..and ill tell u if mu text xa..ill let u read watever iyang e text if he does text my taffy: but i want him to know mn na i knw my taffy: para di na cya mang hilabot my taffy: ky kung di amun gun nko iya pamilya chins: taffy no..di ko gnhn ug gubot..and i dont want u getting hurt..please..di nko ma kaya if anything hapens 2 u kay its my fault gihapon..kargo nako wat hapens 2 u..please dont my taffy: wa nay mas sakit sa na happen nko my taffy: and dnt worry di mn ko ma hurt my taffy: wa nay mas sakit sa ako na agi-an chins: i know u have ur frends to back u up but please..na hurt mn taka emotionally, i dont want na physicaly ma hurt sd ka coz of me my taffy: sorry i had to tel u that chins: im sorry my taffy: aw bsta naa ra na cyay adlaw nko my taffy: di pman karun ugma or this year bsta my taffy: awa lng my taffy: im sorry but di jud nko ni ma palabay my taffy: dako mn siya ug lawas nko pero tanan taw mu higda bsta puthaw na ang katapat chins: taffy please my taffy: im sorry but mao jud na ako na feel my taffy: di ko ma makak nmu my taffy: i want to kill him and all his family chins: no taffy dont chins: di ko gnhn ma sud ka ug gubot and im sure dako na nga gubot my taffy: he should have thought of that before chins: if anything hapens 2 u, di nko kaya..please
my taffy: na erase na nmu tanan? chins: pics?yes my taffy: apil cya apil tanan comment chins: fs mult and fb my taffy: if i see 1 picture na tag pa ka my taffy: suko ko my taffy: iya account chins: pics ra akong na delete..wait akong tanawn..kuyog nmn coments ana my taffy: bsta tanan if mu ask cla y ge delete inga na ingun ko my taffy: inga na ge bastos ka ni carl chins: i did...deleted him na..fs and fb my taffy: ok my taffy: tanan save na pics sd ha pls chins: mao na next nako e delete my taffy: ok my taffy: basin mag mahay ka chins: i wont chins: i promise my taffy: its all up to you jud laffy chins: i know..im sorry my taffy: ....
chins: trust me on this when i tell u i love u and i dont want u gone..even this lang.. my taffy: i do sobra pa ana my taffy: but naa lng jud na sa ako huna2x my taffy: sorry chins: i know..and i dont know unsa akong angay buhaton for u nga di na mag think ana kay its next to imposible chins: dont be sorry my taffy: wa kay angay buhaton rem all i ask is to love me. tanan ako tunlon para nmu my taffy: read my shuffle my taffy: awa unsa ko ge sungug sa world chins: i do..i love u..i know its not enuf nga i keep saying it lang.. chins: ok wait my taffy: ok
my taffy: call u later chins: ok chins: i love u my taffy: i love u and i so want to hear your voice chins: i love u and im sorry my taffy: i love u and cge na i wont give up on you my taffy: i love you chins: i love u
i blew it.. i blew my last chance.. the chance he gave me.. the chance that we could work things out and start all over again.. but i had to tell him the truth.. coz if i don't, he's bound to hear it from other people.. well guess what? the truth was the one that broke the camel's back.. but inspite that, he loves me.. he still does.. though he can't forgive me.. i can accept that.. coz its my fault.. i was stupid and reckless.. but i would be lying to myself if i say i don't love him no more.. i still do.. i love him.. and i want him to believe that i still do..
i love that song.. despite the effects that it caused in my relationship.. well it used to be just an ordinary song to me.. nothing special.. but when i read the lyrics, it just jumped out at me.. its not the whole song that i can relate to.. just a single line from it.. "when i loved you a little less than before".. and i joked about it to adz and my sis.. then i gradually realized that those lyrics spoke to me.. i mean, i can relate to this.. and it got me thinking that this is what i'm feeling right now.. so i kinda distanced myself from my boyfriend.. he noticed of course.. and he kept asking me what's wrong.. and i kept telling him nothing.. that i'm ok.. but deep down i wasn't.. i was struggling to find the ways to tell him.. april 11, 2009.. i thought that day would never happen.. but it did.. it started out to be an ok day.. we were doing fine.. we were having fun watching tv.. then out of nowhere, he asked if we we're ok.. that's when i started crying.. i couldn't help it.. he knew there was something wrong.. i know that we were not ok.. i'm not ok.. then i told him it was nothing.. it was just this certain song that i've been listening to.. and he asked me what it was.. i told him broken strings.. and that there's a line in it that i've been telling adz that i can relate to.. and he asked me again what it was.. and i said when i loved you a little less than before.. mind you.. i said that while i was choking back my tears.. then when he heard me said it, he just stopped.. i could literally see in his eyes that i crushed him.. and i hated myself now for doing that to him.. but the bottomline is that it didn't matter to him.. he told me, "i don't care if you love me less, coz i love you more".. and that it was enough to compensate for it.. and when he asked me if i wanted my freedom, i broke down again.. i said no.. he said if i wanted out, he would give it to me in a heartbeat and that he won't stop me.. i told him that i may have loved him less, but its not enough for me to let him go.. then we hugged.. i hugged him so tight.. and it felt good.. i felt safe in his arms.. and that in my mind i was thinking that if i hugged him too tight, maybe everything that had happened would go away.. that it was just a bad dream.. but it didn't go away.. every single day was a struggle for me.. for the both of us.. in the end, we're still together.. it was just a test.. and we came out of it stronger than before.. and i know that this time around, i'll be more sweeter.. and that i have a lot of making up to do.. but its all good.. it was an eye-opener for me.. and i realized that i don't wanna lose him.. and that we're both holding on..
i was browsing my myspace account just today..i think its been a year since i last opened it..anyway, i cheked out my profile and the pictures i posted there and everything else..then i stumbled upon my old blogs and i started reading them..truth betold, i didn't expect i'd be laughing at them now..i didn't even know i was capable of doing those things..hahaha..so here are the blogs i posted a long, long time ago..and to ate, adz and bib..if u know who this person i was referring to, laugh with me nalang..hahahaha
**Sunday, April 16, 2006
faiRytaLes sUck!! Category: Blogging
iT stArtEd oUt sO weLL..i thOugHt hE wOuLdn't fiGuRe iT oUt..bUt i wAs wRong..hE fOunD oUt aBouT iT..aNd i wAsn'T tHe LeAst biT wOrRiEd..whY? cOz wE beCaMe mOrE cLoSer..i tHot iT wUd eNd uP LiKe i wAntEd..bUt iT diDn't..aNd i wZ huRt..i jZ reaLyzD daT faiRytaLes rEaLLy dOn't cUm tRu..oR mAybe, i jZ feLL fOr d wRonG pRinCe.. :(
** Thursday, May 18, 2006
dunno.... Current mood: blah Category: Blogging
Im not really good with words so ill just type whatever pops into my mind..so here goes.. there's this guy and i have a feeling that he's worth keeping.. he made such an impact in my life which caught me offguard and unprepared.. he placed me in a situation i never thought i could be in.. he opened my eyes to the reality that nothing is really fair.. i learned a lot from him though.. one of which is to be true to your feelings even if everyone keeps telling you that its wrong.. he told me not to leave him..and i didn't.. i was just there--holding on.. but one day, he left without warning.. so i had no choice.. i had to let go..
** Thursday, September 21, 2006
not now..not ever.. Current mood: determined
"someday when the time is right, you'll find me beside you..ill make up for the things i should have done..and you'll hear the words i should have said..."
hmm..i used to ponder on that quote a looooong time ago..but i realized that its never gonna happen..and im not allowing it to happen ever again..i may sound cruel but its true..i admit i WAS blinded but hey, things change..feelings change..and i know most people will disagree to what im blogging here coz they have this mentality (just like some person i know) that im still into this guy..but im not..not anymore..im over him..im definitely over him..and this time, im not moving away..it was a wrong decision to move away..i should have moved on..i shouldn't have allowed things to develop..i shouldn't have trusted him..all my friends were right about him..but i just dismissed them as rumors..sadly, they weren't..i was wrong..i made a mistake..a very big mistake and now im learning from it..im never going back to him..not now..not ever..
----> OMG..hahahahahaha..ka luod nako oi..karon rako ka realize!hahaha
i love your eyes. the way they look at me. the way you narrow them and cock your head to the side when you try to figure out what i'm thinking. the way you use them to convey something you don't need to say. the way i feel so secure just by looking at them. the way you see things i don't see. the way you look at me with those same eyes full of love. the way you see beyond my imperfections, my flaws, my shortcomings... it has always been a mystery to me. even up to now. what you see in me. i've asked you a hundred times about it. yet you gave me the same answer. you won't tell me. it's for you to know and for me to find out. problem is, i can't seem to figure it out. not that i'm complaining. but whatever it is you see in me, i'm just so glad you've seen it. you get the point. and don't you turn the tables at me. i'm keeping my opinions to myself. but just so you know, you were the sweetest person i have ever met. even then when we were still getting to know each other. we were worlds apart. yet at some point, we were drawn to each other. like a moth to a flame. then an invisible switch suddenly flipped. and i was looking at you differently. i was scared at first. i wasn't sure if i was ready to risk everything again. i was afraid of getting hurt. i remember praying and asking for a sign. God must really love you 'coz He gave me not just one, but a lot of signs! i was still afraid. probably 'coz i wasn't used to be on the receiving end of love. i was the giver. never the taker. but with you, it was different. everything was new. and it felt great. i was pampered and treated like a princess. and you know what. i deserve you. i really do. i love you mr. jose andre meneses siriban.